i'm going to legally change my name to franiel mcdaniel|
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|Monday, June 23rd, 2008|
i am so over sweating. i totally have that pre-maternal "glow" permanently on my face. Current Mood: schveaty
working for the first time in well over a week today.
wisdom teeth soon.
i hope to sell my car ASAP ($15,000, anyone, anyone?)
2 weeks until i'm a san francisco resident.
|Tuesday, June 17th, 2008|
so i was originally perturbed that ruby's didn't schedule me at all this week, but after realizing how much stuff i've gotten done around the house these past two days, i consider it a huge blessing. it's comforting to know that at this point, i've gotten rid of all the "trash," and it's only a matter of putting things into boxes before i move. i'm quite excited. but i still do have a lot of crap that i'm keeping. it wouldn't be me otherwise!
it's amander's 21st in less than four hours!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: productive
|Saturday, June 14th, 2008|
i have been putting off this journal for an unhealthy period of time. thus i'm glad i've been inspired to write at least something longer than four sentences. Current Mood: groggy
it's both exciting and scary how soon i'm moving. three weeks. i wanted to get a head start on everything so i don't feel stressed and rushed, but instead i'm procrastinating and still feeling stressed and rushed.
i'm trying to sell my car. i've gotten quite a few phone calls from interested people. the fact is, they all like to call at 9AM, when i'm definitely not ready to deal with anyone nor am i willing to talk on the phone. (or if i am awake i'm already doing something by that point so i can't be on the phone). anyway, today a gentleman named jason called me, and proclaimed his interest in my car through song. (in case you don't know, my voice mail is presented by me through song). so i think i'm going to try him first. before i do anything, however, i need to get the inside of my car vacuumed. you'd think that would be an easy task.
it has also been on my to do list for the past three days to purchase laundry detergent. haven't done that. i really haven't done much of anything these past few days. i really hope i'll snap out of it next week, when i NEED to, but mercury retrograde is only going to be stronger until the 19th. speaking of mercury retrograde, ruby's failed to schedule me at all next week, so it'll take a miracle for me to obtain money for this move. but i always do manage to pull through. perhaps i'll try sexual favors for cash..... ............kidding.
i went to vegas with jen from sunday through wednesday. it was an amazing time, meeting all kinds of people, discovering new places to hang out that are quite entertaining, and seeing zumanity, LOVE, and phantom. zumanity was artistic, but really a bunch of boobs. the beatles' LOVE show was awesome just as it was the first time. if you haven't yet seen this, please make a point to do so - i can't imagine how someone wouldn't be fascinated. and phantom - well, that was the first time i had ever seen it in a theatre and i was blown away. all the performers were fantastic, and raoul was standing 5 feet away from me at one point. i was about to jump up and touch him.
the past few days, in my me-time, i've been reading a book that adam got for me. it's a book intended for entertaining gay men or anyone interested in gay sexual life, which normally doesn't appeal to me. this book actually does. it has begun to rekindle a spark of creativity in me, so i only hope i can use that spark in the future. i think san fran will inspire me to write more, whether in words or in music.
if this seems fragmented btw, i got about 11 hours of sleep last night and my brain has not turned completely on just yet.
|Friday, June 6th, 2008|
i'm constantly reminded of how poorly i read people. Current Mood: oops, i did it again
i often think i'm doing a good job, but every so often i perceive the exact opposite of what's there.
it's actually funny. i can't believe things are panning out the way they are, but it's working to the best advantage for my future.
to quote odi, "it's goooood!!!"
|Monday, May 19th, 2008|
so i watched zoey 101 for the first time today.
well, part of it.
i found humor in the secondary characters, and that's about it.
i love how in the opening scene, the students were wandering around the high school carrying surfboards, boogie boards, soccer balls, and any other athletic material you can imagine.
|Friday, May 16th, 2008|
|duped from my myspace bulletin, but important enough to me to remain permanent
there's a book i read every so often called "non campus mentis." it is a compilation of actual essays written by college students about various topics in history. if i may, here's a sampling of why this book is so great:
The Renaissance: The Grits of Change
The Middle Ages slimpared to a halt.
-The renasence bolted in from the blue.
-Life reeked with joy.
-Italy became robust, and more individuals felt the value of their human being.
-It became sheik to be educated.
Thomas More put the capital "H" in Humanism. Erasmus wrote the New Testament. Chamber music was composed for groups of viles. Women, however, were required to display their art ominously."
one thing's for sure, gems like these keep life interesting.
|Monday, May 12th, 2008|
|facebook is now foreign to me
yesterday i went to santa maria to see the extended family, and it was much needed. it's a shame i can't spend as much time as i'd like with them.
they're all having babies - it makes me want to have a baby.
i feel a little strange today, but in a nostalgic, positive way.
people here seem more and more beautiful to me the closer i get to leaving. it's a little saddening.
physics makes us all his bitches. Current Mood: complacent
|Saturday, March 15th, 2008|
|last night was one for the books
i wish i could remember more of it so i could write a detailed account haha.
basically it was the reefer madness cast party, a show that i was indeed not a part of, but since i'm in a class with practically the entire cast, i made an appearance. everybody was there, including people i didn't expect, and i drank more than i have in quite a while. highlights of the night included the circle outside, the peep show, peeing with linsey, making out with linsey, getting to know each person better than before, breaking the barrier from classmate to better acquaintance/friend, the dancing, the passion malibu rum, introducing harvey to everyone, losing my purse, waking up to my phone alarm ringing completely on the other side of the garage, passing the fuck out haha, walking into the house to see linsey under the pool table, getting into random discussions about astrology with everyone, and i bet there was much more that my drunken brain just can't remember. it was awesome and i'm excited for any part-twos that may come in the future. many thanks to taylor and a-train for hosting the event and putting up with everyone's shit!
|Thursday, February 28th, 2008|
i like the day february 28. i don't know why.
i have to say that i am incredibly amused right now by certain words/phrases that exist within my family. we say them like they're everyday words. but they're not. (majorie)
jean. hilharious. where's the tree? ack-duck. apu, rate. bearbay. febdiberry. i tan't (doe). funky delores. teetee. f-a-r. i'm gonna have red beans for dinner. it'll all come out in the wash. but... hole. hubert head. how a meal won't happen without somebody mentioning bowel movements in one way or another. the nicknames: mouth, trash, legs, white, butt, eyes, filth, grease, letterman, huge, duct tape. crotches. did you get grandma's money? crotchpheasant. ni-ni-ni-ni-ni, nyyyi-ni-ni-ni-ni. my point exactly (sorry, i had to). comb your face and wash your teeth.
i could keep going but my concentration isn't exactly 100% considering i got about 7 hours of sleep in the last two nights. jean.
|Tuesday, January 29th, 2008|
|addendum to "traffic school: part deux"
a detail i forgot to mention: the instructor, cliff, had one of the more intense accents i've heard in my life. the word "law" was pronounced "lohr," and then there was "idear," "drawring (john mcnamara!)," and other forms of that, i suppose new england style, accent. the man in front of me said "altso" for also, i love that. it's like saying "true or faltse."
|Saturday, January 26th, 2008|
|brief report entitled "traffic school: part deux"
so yes, i had yet another rousing experience in traffic school today. this time around was nowhere near as fun or entertaining as the last time (refer to early september 2003), but i still got a little bit of joy out of it. Current Mood: drained
-my cousin was there with me, completely coincidentally
-the women to my left, marti and mari (a psychiatric nurse for the homeless) were enjoyable to a degree. they each received the most attention from the instructor and the class.
-bernie in the front, who was apparently a personal friend of cliff the instructor. he said he recognized me from serving him at bj's the other night, and i told him he was mistaken. i suppose i have yet another doppelganger though.
-bernie was also the one who volunteered to read both questions related to marijuana aloud.
-when those question were read (marijuana is known to impair judgment on the road, etc) a guy behind me affirmingly declared "false" in protest to weed being a bad thing. that made me chuckle. teehee.
-there were two hottie patotties, one of which i learned was name joshua but probably would not have given me the time of day; the other sat on the complete opposite end of the room and we made eyes every so often, although probably not for positive reasons.
-p.s. i was sitting practically in the front corner [loser]
-the woman on the other end who looked like she was on permahigh and always had something interesting to say (such as the time her ex-husband got in a fit of road rage and held a hunting knife out of his window as a threat, all while she was eight months pregnant in the passenger seat)
-the homophobes who thought my style/walk were laugh-out-loud worthy. i always get a kick out of those.
-the man two rows behind had practically no clue what he was doing - he was often confused and asking obvious questions. a man on the other side did the same.
-my chair was broken.
-the special guest who told the class about how he commited accidental manslaughter as part of his community service, and the guilt he felt. it was truly saddening. what's worse is that i crossed paths with him at starbucks during the break, something he clearly didn't expect. he recognized me and immediately turned away in embarrassment. i felt so badly for him.
-i will never get over how many different walks of life are represented in those rooms. except for my cousin, i'm sure i'll never see any of them again, it's just a weird feeling.
so overall i wish there could have been more entertainment from people-watching. and that, is, grandmahouse. er, traffic school. (sorry inside joke, i couldn't resist)
|Wednesday, January 16th, 2008|
the hardest thing i've ever done is keep believing there's someone in this crazy world for me. the way that people come and go through temporary lives, my chance could come and i might never know. i used to say no promises, let's keep it simple, but freedom only helps you say goodbye. it took a while for me to learn that nothing comes for free, the price i've paid is high enough for me. i know i need to be in love, i know i've wasted (way) too much time, i know i ask perfections of a quite imperfect world, and fool enough to think that's what i'll find. so here i am with pockets full of good intentions, but none of them will comfort me tonight. i'm wide awake at 4am without a friend in sight, hanging on a hope, but i'm alright.
|Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008|
|year in review
with few exceptions we all came to the conclusion that 2007 was a very eventful, perhaps even tumultuous year. many of the people i have spoken to share the idea that 2008 will be a phenomenal year bursting with positive change. i am definitely among those people.
personally 2007 was in my eyes a transitional year. change, since it is unfamiliar, is often unwelcomed, and thus can be perceived as negative. i'll align with the bandwagon and say that i wouldn't be who i am without the changes that took place in 07, and for that i am grateful. my main point is that these changes were transitional, setting a backbone for the wonderful ride i will be on in 2008. so i believe. :-)
2007 in a nutshell:
-began the year living in irvine on my own
-began the spring '07 semester way behind on my work.
-managed to complete the semester, barely, but did not receive a high enough GPA to graduate with honors.
-still graduated in may.
-out of order, but i reentered the clubbing/bar scene in february after a few-month long bout with depression. it's funny that the essential cause of my depression is what brought me out of it, but i digress.
-i met my first boyfriend (and only thus far) in march, had a 2.5 month long relationship that ended in a quite a bizarre manner, but what more would someone expect from relationships' ends?
-this relationship as well as a 1.5 month leave of absence from ruby's actually helped me work my way to graduating in may.
-almost completely in alignment to the graduation, i re-met adam patterson in may, who has gone on to be among my best of friends and is a person who i know will continue to have a huge positive impact on my life. one of the ways that took place in may: he left me in a car alone with the dresden dolls, and i have been in love with the band ever since.
-i cried three times this year, after going 8 years without crying once. one of the three was due to the end of bob barker's reign on the price is right.
-june marked the end of the relationship, and the beginning of life outside of college. i really don't think i could have had a better summer. i had an awesome graduation party catered to me, i traveled a few times, many d-land trips, and i had money.
-july was the beginning of the tumult of real life. i was drunk in public in laguna beach and got arrested. i was forced to move out of my comfortable apartment and begin paying for my own rent again. the move took place three months earlier than it should have, and it was a stressor i defintely could have done without.
-i also accepted a job offer from my church, which i've basically signed the next half year of life away to. i'm getting paid for it, so i can't complain too much, but i do do quite a bit there, in addition to ruby's, where i still work.
-akin to brian's post (which inspired me to create mine), august thru december was an enormous blur. after the arrest i stopped drinking for a good while, only to begin again in full swing in november (and continue ever since). i gained closer friendships with some friends, and lost touch with others, just like any year, but '07 definitely had more defined changes.
-august also kicked off my reobsession for reality tv, notably big brother, survivor, kid nation, and the amazing race.
-the most important change of the year was amanda's and my decision to become 100% fully committed to move to san francisco in july of 2008.
again, this is just a brief summary of this past year, a more detailed one would just be a load of T.M.I.
happy '08 everyone!
|Sunday, December 23rd, 2007|
|save your change
it adds up in the end. i remember when i went to new york i decided to cash in my bucket of change and it totalled to nearly $300! this time around, it's only $50, but i'm definitely not complaining. every little bit counts. Current Mood: decent
the holiday madness begins today! it's madness i love -- my family has had this december 23/24 tradition for so many years now, it's amazing that we've kept it up.
|Monday, November 26th, 2007|
|not again! haha
digestive woes. work in an hour. i definitely feeling the need to do something financially productive, i just haven't the faintest what to do. i need to obtain $900 by next monday, a week from today. i have two paychecks coming, so in theory that brings it down to about $400. can i do it? hahaha we'll just have to see.
but most importantly digestive woes. they're no fun.
|Saturday, November 24th, 2007|
i am so happy today it's bizarre. it is just a really good day, for no particular reason at all.
|Sunday, November 18th, 2007|
|cuz a myspace bulletin just doesn't cut it
ramblings that i insist are not related to one another.
i am so insignificant to some people out there sometimes. just two specific people in mind this time...
unrequited love is a bitch -- i see it working in SO many levels with some of my closest friends alone.
i want fate to work its magic. i just want to be in the same place as one particular person at the same time. everything else can happen or not happen, but just a glimpse in person would be fine.
yeah i'm creepy.
i miss way too many people.
i should be asleep.
i'm not depressed, just disappointed. a theme for this year. Current Mood: blah
|Monday, November 12th, 2007|
|how today went
6AM: much needed wake up call from alisa.
630AM: wake up call from hanan. got out of bed, dressed, made tea.
645AM: left for church
7AM: wake up call from jen
720: arrived at church for bell call time, rehearsed
745: rehearsed for vocals
815: rehearsed for chancel
845 and 1030 services: sang vocals up front through both services, participated in a gospel trio, and had a clarinet solo all in one day. insane.
11AM: social committee meeting, followed by finising up with vocals in the 1030 service
12PM: worked at the church, doing various whosywhatsits, as jeanette would say.
130PM: chapel rehearsal
330: young adults rehearsal, forum vouching for les miserables
4PM: bell choir rehearsal
5PM: finished up working at the church
515: drove to ruby's
530: arrived at ruby's, worked a closing shift, a party of 15 or so college age people came in 15 minutes before closing.
1030: finished working, got my first minute's rest for the whole day.
i didn't even have time to eat, save for the little snacks at church (hardly substantial), and a mistakenly made kid's grilled cheese at ruby's.
it was a doosy. Current Mood: exhausted
|Friday, November 2nd, 2007|
|out of nowhere
totally depressed, but not expecting or even suggesting sympathy.
in fact, i'm condemning sympathy. tomorrow will be a better day.
|Monday, October 29th, 2007|
and the streak is over!!!!!!!!!!